great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
