Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
