Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
