I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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