I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
