Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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