That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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