Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
