I'm really into asian looking animals
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize