Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
