He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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