Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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