Someone shit on the floor
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
