So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
