The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
