Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Drake has all the answers
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
