so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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