My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
