You work out of a Hotel?
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
