Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
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