So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Your cock deserves a montage
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize