remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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