i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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