if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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