WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
