bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
