Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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