Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Randomize
