Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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