I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
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