I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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