Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
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