but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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