I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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