She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize