what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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