You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
