R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
