I only kidnapped one of them. chill
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
