1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
