so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
