just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
