Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Its about making memories worth repressing
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
