Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
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