My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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