Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
