Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
