I met the friendliest cop last night
I think I won the penis lottery.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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