One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
