i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
