Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
