How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
