Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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