i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
