I wish you could order shots online.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
