I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
