dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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