planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Randomize
