By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
