I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
