Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
