I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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