my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize