The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Randomize
