Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
