Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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