Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
