It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
