Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Randomize
