umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
