Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
