Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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