so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Randomize
