I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Ladies don't puke and tell
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
