I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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