He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
