If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
he fucked my hip out of place.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
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