You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
