i don't want you to think of me as your TA
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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