Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I am mentally ready for anal.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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